How Teen Mom's Cory Wharton and Cheyenne Floyd Reacted When Daughter Ryder, 7, Was Called the N-Word

It was meant to be an afternoon of lighthearted fun, but Cheyenne Floyd wasn't about to play when a kid approached daughter Ryder at an L.A.-area play space and called the 7-year-old the N-word. 

But rather than jumping to rage, "My anger turned into more of like, let me just focus on Ryder, because I can't let Ryder see that I'm just as upset as she is," the Teen Mom: The Next Chapter star recounted in an exclusive interview with E! News. "Because Ryder wanted some type of justice in that moment, and I think she was really angry herself. So, I was like, 'Okay, let me focus on explaining to Ryder why this is wrong and why she is so upset.'"

The 31-year-old also sent up a small prayer of gratitude that both her husband of two years, Zach Davis, and Ryder's dad, Cory Wharton, were some 2,000-plus miles away filming a boy's trip for the MTV reality series. 

Because before Cheyenne could find a manager to de-escalate the situation, "We were met with the other child's dad," she recalled, "and I think that if the guys were there, it would have turned into a much bigger situation."

Instead, it turned into a teaching moment—one Cheyenne didn't necessarily plan for when she called up her husband to fill him in on the situation. 

"I wasn't filming," Cheyenne explained. "I didn't even think about the fact that there were cameras around that were going to hear the conversation. I was upset in the moment, and I called Zach. Zach got Cory and we dealt with it in real time."

The solution involved an on-camera chat with online racial justice organization Color of Change to discuss how to best broach the topic of racism with their children. (Cory is also dad to daughters Mila, 4, and Maya, 2, with girlfriend Taylor Selfridge while Cheyenne and Zach share son Ace, 3.)

Having experienced racism growing up in Michigan, Cory knew this was just the first of many tough encounters. 

"It's going to continue to happen," the 33-year-old acknowledged to E! News, noting that both he and Cheyenne are well aware racism is unlikely to end in their lifetimes. "The best thing we can do is just prepare Ryder, take care of Ry."

That means explaining to her that "you can't control how somebody else feels about you" and that not everyone she meets will want to be her friend, he continued. "And that's a hard lesson for Ryder to learn."

While he and Cheyenne can't change the close-minded people of the world, they can ensure their kids are prepared to handle them. 

"We have to make sure that Ryder knows how to advocate for herself," explained Cheyenne, "because there are going to be situations where we're not going to be there. What do you do in those moments? Or, what do you do if you see a friend that's put in a situation that you don't think is right? How do you advocate for your friends? How do you advocate for a stranger?" 

And sometimes those lessons look a lot like watching TV. 

Among Ryder's favorites is Netflix's animated series Karma's World. "There was an episode where the little girl kept getting her hair touched at school because it was curly," detailed Cheyenne. "At the same time, Ryder came home and was like, 'This little girl at school keeps touching my hair, too, and told me I should straighten it.'"

"So, we watched the show, and at the end, Karma is singing about how beautiful her curly hair is," Cheyenne continued. "Ryder learned the song, and the next day at school, she sang the song to the little girl who was trying to touch her hair. And she was so proud to tell me." 

Listening to her little girl recount the moment, "I realized, okay, it's not that hard to have these conversations," summed up Cheyenne. "We watched a cartoon, and we tackled the lesson. We read a children's book at night for bedtime, and that helped her understand different things. And people could do the same thing."

Both Cory and Cheyenne said their top takeaway from the Color of Change sit-down was the importance of hitting the books.

"I read to all my girls," said Cory, noting that he works a little question-and-answer into the routine. "You ask them, 'Hey, after we read that page, what did you take away from that?'"

And for those looking to beef up their library, Cheyenne recommends heading to Amazon. "You literally can type in, 'Books for children, for representation,'" she detailed, "and then you can put whatever it is: Hispanic, Black, Asian, and Amazon lays it out for you. It's so easy." 

Most recently, the Are You The One? alum continued, she "went on Amazon and put in, 'Curly hair representation for young Black girls.' And I bought every single one. It's so easy to find, you just have to go and do it."

Her other recommendation also involves just a few clicks of a keyboard. 

When her mom's neighbor asked for suggestions on how they could be more anti-racist, "I said, ‘Honestly, when Ryder comes to play at your house, there's not one doll that looks like her. But if you come to our house, we have dolls that are doing everything. We've got a doll in the wheelchair, we have a doll with no hair, we have every type of situation you can find,'" Cheyenne explained. "The next time we went over there, they had every doll ever. And Ryder picked a doll that looked like her. It's so easy to do something as simple as that."

And, yes, it can feel scary to talk to your kids about racism. As Cory put it, "I don't want to tell my 7-year-old that Santa doesn't exist."

And yet, for Cheyenne, the alternative can be even more terrifying. 

"We have the conversations in our household much younger, especially with the boys," she shared. "My nephew is 5, and we're talking to him about stuff right now because he has to understand the differences. He's been put in situations where it's like, 'No you can't do this, because this could happen.'" 

Among the anecdotes they've shared is the time a cousin played a relatively harmeless game of ding-dong ditch (as in, ring a nearby doorbell, runaway and revel in your childhood prank).

"She was the only Black one out of all of her white friends," said Cheyenne, "and she's the one that the cops got upset with. She had to understand, you don't have the same privileges and this is why. Unfortunately, we have to have these tougher conversations a lot sooner. And I wish that it wasn't like that, but that's just the reality."

But that doesn't mean each chat has to be filled with literal life-and-death implications. 

"I have three different Skittles over here—all three of my little girls all look different," explained Cory. "People don't think Maya is mine because she's a redhead, blue eyes, it's just funny how genetics work. And I think it's awesome that, especially within our family and Chy’s family, we're very diverse. We get to really educate the younger generation and try to tell them to do what's right. That's all we're trying to do as parents."

Agreed Cheyenne, "I think a lot of times we're afraid to have conversations with our kids, because we see them as so young and innocent and pure, and we want to keep that about them. But at the same time, the world we live in, especially today, we have to prepare them."

And overall, she added, just remind them that it's cool to be kind. 

"The biggest thing is you have to teach your children how to be good advocates and how to be non-racist," summed up Cheyenne, "and just how to be nice. It's not hard to be nice."